Somewhere Over the Ocean
by A.Katz Omnipotent King
Summary: After a serious hit on the head from a Trombone, AK finds herself out at sea with a friend who has a seriously unhealty Jack Sparrow Obsession. How will this poor, small bladdered, clarinet player deal?


"Somewhere over the Ocean."  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any Pirates of the Caribbean concepts or characters, but I do own my friends.  
  
A/N: Here it is Christina; I hope it's everything you wanted and more!  
  
~  
  
"Get away from me!" I yelled at the trombone player who was invading my personal space bubble with his instrument. The slide was dangerously close to touching me. "I said get away!"  
  
He just laughed at me, edging closer and closer, blasting obnoxiously out of tune notes into my poor abused ears. It didn't take much longer for me to lose my temper completely.  
  
"All right!" I screeched. "That's it! You are so dead!" Before he could react I charged the jerk, knocking him to the ground. I lifted my clarinet over my head and was about to crack his skull open when I felt a hand grab my wrist, cutting off my attack. I screamed in frustration.  
  
"Let me go!" but whoever was holding me did not let go. In my moment of distraction the trombone player was able to scramble up from under me. He snatched his instrument from the ground, grimacing at its battered state. Only then did my restrainer release me. I spun around angrily, intending to know who had prevented my revenge, but no one was there. I frowned confusedly, and was about to address the Jerk when I felt something collide harshly with the back of my head.  
  
"You...trombone..." I slurred unintelligibly before slumping to the floor, unconscious.  
  
*  
  
"Wake up!"  
  
'No,' I thought.  
  
"Wake up AK, it's your turn to paddle!"  
  
'No!' I screamed mentally, kicking my legs fiercely at the one who would dare disturb my sleep. I stopped when I felt my feet make contact with icy cold water.  
  
"WAKEY WAKEY!" The voice bellowed, and this time I woke up with a snap. The person squealed in delight, and I felt two long, wooden objects shoved into lap.  
  
"What the heck?" I inquired, glancing behind me at the weird person who had woken me up. I started in surprise when I realized who it was. "Crap? Is that you?" Christina, nickname Crap, nodded slowly, arching her eyebrows at my speculation.  
  
"Of course it's me! We've been at sea together for days!" She explained, pointing at the ocean surrounding us. I stared balefully at the poorly constructed raft under me, something that resembled a grubby piece of driftwood more than anything.  
  
"Crap?" I asked hesitantly.  
  
"Yes?" she answered while retrieving a scratched at fake looking spyglass from her small duffel bag.  
  
"I have to go bathroom," I whined, crossing my legs in hope of quashing the need. But the feeling persisted. Christina rolled her eyes, and decided to ignore me and my bladder problems. Instead she placed the spyglass over her right eye, frowned, and sighed.  
  
"No sign of a ship yet. And it's almost lunchtime! Paddle AK, paddle like you've never paddled before!"  
  
"Yes captain!" I saluted her playfully and proceeded to carry out her command perfectly. It was only two hours later when we arrived back at our starting point.  
  
"AK! You took us in a circle! Oh man, now we'll never see the Black Pearl!" She yelled, before bursting into tears. Instead of comforting her I contemplated the meaning of what she said. The Black Pearl? But that was a movie! A movie Christina is hopelessly obsessed with. Had she gone insane and decided that the Black Pearl might be real? Doubtful, but who knows? Well I decided I would think about it later. Right now I really had to pee, very badly!  
  
"Listen Crap, I'm really sorry, but I gotta use the lav, like NOW!"  
  
"Just go in the ocean!" she gasped in between sobs. I knew this would be impossible without falling in. I didn't feel like getting wet, especially since it was that time of month. So I shook my head no, and carefully placed the paddles onto our raft. Then, all of a sudden, Christina jumped to her feet, nearly causing me to fly into the ocean. She pointed excitedly into the distance; a cheesy grin plastered on her little face. "I see it!" she exclaimed. "I see the ship! It's the Black Pearl!"  
  
"Where?" I asked stupidly, squinting in the direction she was pointing. "I don't see anything."  
  
"That's because you're blind, AK. It's right there!"  
  
"AHHHH!" I screamed as an enormous, black sailed ship came speeding straight toward our raft! "Abandon ship!" I bellowed, and was about dive into the water when the vessel stopped suddenly. Crap leaped about frantically: her small body attempting to reach new heights. I grabbed at the edges of the raft as I was thrown into the water anyway, screaming curses at the ship. Before I knew it, a small lifeboat was lowered into the ocean next to me. I automatically snatched at it, pulling myself up and inside. Christina made a running leap at the small boat, just barely making it in. I glared at her, jealous of her dryness.  
  
Vaguely I wondered why the boat had stopped for us. Was it because the men on board noticed two poor, helpless girls on a pathetic raft and decided to save them? Or were there other reasons? My thoughts were cut of by my overly enthusiastic friend.  
  
"Isn't this exciting? We're gonna meet Jack Sparrow! We're gonna oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah!" The hyper girl was rocking the boat again. 'Meet Jack Sparrow?' I looked angrily at the sea as the lifeboat was slowly raised. 'Oh man have I got to use the bathroom!' 


End file.
